Beneath all the Layers of Life

We are rarely just one version of ourselves.

Stephen has lived through different seasons of identity—from introvert to extrovert, and somewhere in between as an ambivert. Each version has left something behind: a habit, a lesson, a way of seeing the world.

He describes people as having layers, much like an onion. There is always something beneath what first meets the eye.

As a content creator and a fragrance influencer, he is quite outspoken giving his honest opinions about fragrances he reviews both local and international brand. He chooses a name “Cabbage” (Kubis) to become part of his identity online. The name is a wording interplay in Bahasa Indonesia between Kol and Kubis, he takes a name Kubis to represent double meaning. A playful name, but one that carries an unexpected metaphor: there is always another layer to peel back both in fragrances and in life.  There has been too many KOLs (Key Opinion Leaders) in the space, and it is, as if, he would like to announce that a KOL is just a regular human even in the digital world.

 

Beyond the First Layer

If you meet Stephen for the first time, you may only see one layer of him. You may see him a lot in the virtual world: giving opinions as fragrance reviewer, being invited to fragrance events, or simply bringing his perspective of the world in his own style.

But he hopes what remains after that first impression is something more fundamental: integrity, discipline, and loyalty.

He has experienced different versions of himself over the years. The introvert. The extrovert. The ambivert. Yet perhaps identity isn't about choosing which version is the “real” one.

Maybe all of them are.

The layers change. The core remains.

 

Where the Layers Fall Away

For all the versions of himself that exist in the outside world, Stephen feels most like himself at home, alone, in his own comfort zone.

There, there is no audience. No expectation. No version of himself he needs to perform.

Just him.

Perhaps that is where we discover something important about ourselves: not necessarily in the moments when we are most visible, but in the moments when nobody is looking.

Like peeling away layer after layer, what remains underneath is often quieter than everything surrounding it.

And sometimes, that quiet is where the core becomes clearest.

 

Scents From the Layers of Home

Stephen's memories of home are layered with scent. There is the lush, almost nocturnal character of tuberose, a flower he has always loved. Then there is something more nostalgic: the scent of polished wood and sandalwood, reminiscent of the simple home he grew up in, surrounded by wooden furniture. And somewhere in between is the familiar medicinal freshness of minyak kayu putih. Together, these scents don't describe one particular place. They describe a feeling. A home remembered not through grand moments, but through the textures and aromas that quietly surrounded him growing up.

Perhaps memory works much like layers itself. One scent can reveal another, and suddenly something buried beneath the present rises back to the surface.

But if you ask him what makes him feel safe, and the answer is almost disarmingly simple: Home. Alone. Rain. No schedule. There is something comforting about having nowhere to be. No next appointment. No expectation. No need to fill the silence. Just the sound of rain and the freedom to exist without a plan. Perhaps his idea of safety is ultimately about removing layers rather than adding them.

Three of his favorite scents reminding him of home: tuberose, sandalwood, and cajuput oil

 

When Fragrance Becomes Fragrance Again

There is a particular kind of peace Stephen finds in perfume. Not when it becomes content. Not when it becomes a review, a post, a discussion about trends, or part of a creator's scope of work. But when fragrance can simply be fragrance. Something to experience without having to explain it.

What inspires Stephen lately is also what concerns him about the fragrance world. He wonders what happened to the sincerity of simply being a fragrance lover. Before content became part of the experience. Before money, fame, metrics, and visibility entered the picture. Before every fragrance needed to become something to discuss, rank, or perform.

There is a specific nostalgia for the purity of loving something simply because you love it. Perhaps rediscovery is not always about finding something new. Sometimes, it is about returning to the reason you loved it in the first place.

Music gives him the same kind of shelter. Together, perfume and music become ways of returning to himself: experiences that don't necessarily need to be turned into anything else.

Perhaps that is what makes them grounding. They allow him to experience something without needing to perform the experience.

Stephen enjoying and reviewing fragrances

 

The Layers We Choose to Show

In a world where so much of life is shared, Stephen believes there are always layers of ourselves that remain unseen.

There is the version we present to the public.

The version our friends know.

The version only a few people ever see.

And perhaps even a deeper version that we never fully explain to anyone. Social media, in that sense, is only one layer. What we choose to show is not necessarily false. It is simply not the whole picture. The danger begins when we mistake the visible layer for the entire person. Stephen chooses to keep some layers private. This is not because they are hidden, but because not everything needs to be exposed to be real.

Stephen and his friends in the fragrance community

 

The People Behind the Layers

Stephen's family has shaped much of who he is, with his sister holding a particularly meaningful place within that circle. He also carries the influence of a small-group leader from his time in Melbourne. These people became part of different chapters of his life, each leaving something behind.

Maybe the people who shape us are like the layers themselves. We don't always notice what they have given us until we look back and realize how much of who we are was formed in their presence.

 

The Beauty of What Takes Time

Stephen believes we are slowly losing appreciation for qualities that cannot be rushed:

Resilience. Patience. Endurance.

Things that become harder to notice when life becomes increasingly comfortable and convenient. They aren't particularly glamorous qualities. They don't always photograph well. They rarely produce immediate results.

But perhaps that is precisely why they matter. Some things can only be built slowly. Some layers can only be formed with time.

 

Current Chapter: Rediscovery

Stephen describes the chapter he is in now with one word:

Rediscovery.

Perhaps it is fitting.

Because rediscovery isn't necessarily about becoming someone new. It can be about peeling back the layers accumulated along the way—the identities we tried on, the expectations we carried, the versions of ourselves we thought we had to become.

And beneath them, there may be something that was there all along.

A core. Not untouched by life, but shaped by it.

Maybe that is the quiet irony of being Cabbage: there is always another layer to uncover, but the journey isn't really about reaching some perfect center. It is about becoming curious enough to keep peeling.

To ask what is still true. What was only a facade. What has changed. And, beneath it all, what remains unmistakably you.

Along the Way is a conversation series by Bentala that celebrates every person we cross paths with on this journey of life. Through honest and meaningful dialogues, we explore the memories, values, and quiet moments that subtly shape who we are today. Because inspiration doesn't always come from extraordinary lives. Sometimes, it comes from people simply learning to live more truthfully, one step at a time.